Waking up the morning after was no walk in the park. My booty hoe was not only in pain but I had missed a few calls and text messages from Lisa wondering why I didn't go back to the condo after car dealership guy to give my payout to Rain. At first, Lisa seemed pretty pissed off with me, however, she said 'dealership guy' had a great time and wanted to see me again. I went dead silent.
Kendra...Kendra, are you there? Lisa said into the phone.
Ya.. ya I'm here, I said uneasily.
Okay good! When can I book you to see Car Dealership guy again? Lisa asked excitedly.
It was like a spaced out for a moment with ringing in my ears and everything around me becoming blurry. I knew I had to say something but what if Lisa didn't believe me? What if she would fire me for making such accusation and blackball me from the industry? Or worse..
Sex workers often do not report rape because they fear arrest, social stigma, police discrimination, and losing their livelihood. The illegal or unregulated status of sex work in many places makes victims afraid that speaking out will result in criminal charges for themselves rather than justice. Many sex workers have a history of bad experiences or abuse from law enforcement. Leading them to not trust the police to help them.
Law enforcement don't bring a sense of safety they evoke the sense of fear.
So I guess it was a risk I was willing to take if it meant preventing it from happening to other girls and to blacklist 'Dealership guy. At least that's what I'd hope would happen. Don't you think?
Lisa... I have to tell you something... I said nervously.
Whats up! She responded sternly.
It's about 'Dealership guy... I can't see him again... I said while choking back tears.
Without having to relive that whole conversation again, essentially Lisa was "understanding" at the time and said she would never send girls to Car Dealership guy again along with a review on Terb. She also said it was cool with me taking some time off.
After that conversation I realized I should make an appointment at the sex clinic to get tested for STDs. Thank god I did because Car Dealership guy gave me fucking Chlamydia! Which didn't help the internal spiral happening inside me. I had to take four large horse pills that made me feel extremely nauseous but would clear it up in one to two weeks. I had never been so humiliated and dehumanized in my life until I met him.
I felt like I needed to disappear for a while and escape from my own body so that's what I did.
Tag: female writers
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As much as you can try to predict or control your future, it’s never what you’d actually think it would be. Life throws you into some crazy situations and you have to go with it. Friends will become enemies and past lovers will become strangers. You tear yourself down, sometimes with the help of others and life gets so crazy that working on self-love takes a back seat. You hit the lowest of lows, miles past what you thought was rock bottom and learn to normalize it.
I’m Annabelle and the life I had, compared to the life I have now was not what I expected.
Just when you think you’ve got the hang of something, its familliarness just slips right out of your fingers. What’s next? What are you supposed to do now? You’ve taken every direction possible to try and regain control, but nothing seems to work in your favor. I’m navigating this world just like you. Maybe our compass is pointed in the opposite direction of one another, but we’re both on the same journey to finding ourselves. Whether it’s the decision of going to college or not or you’ve gone to college/University and realized you’ve just wasted 4 years of your life: We’ve all been there at some point. Not just college experiences, but becoming a young adult. One day you have a full stock of groceries and the next you’re so broke that all you have left to eat is dry pasta and mustard.
Freshman 15; that’s a thing.
Guys our age… don’t even bother.
If you already found the one KEEP HIM! Good men are a needle in a haystack. I prefer older men, but age doesn’t always equal maturity. They can be more immature than a twenty-one-year-old. You could possibly have already found The One that you want to settle down with and have children or maybe you’ve decided you don’t want children. Either way, only take what you want not what others feel you should want.
Are you keeping up so far?
If so, welcome to my life, this collection of ramblings, life lessons and thoughts are just a brief overview of my life thus far. I wouldn’t say this is a self-help blog; I am no expert. However, I would say I have a story that shouldn’t be left unheard. I struggled and still struggle with money and its management. I’ve resorted to cleaning my “friends list” more times than I can count, and have only found a small handful of people that I wish to keep around.
I believe that you can never stop trying to change and better yourself and that we should learn from others’ mistakes. I am also a strong believer that things happen for a reason. If any of my experiences help you, then to me; a good deed has been done. The reason why I have begun this blog/book was to free myself from my past and learn from my own mistakes… so I thought. I will cover some promiscuous stories, my struggles with adulting, alcohol, sex work, and my struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Betrayal, lies, heartbreak, being the worst version of myself, failing my second semester of college, almost losing myself to my persona to getting a second chance at a better life.
So buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride.