*******Warning ******
This next chapter contains violence towards women, sexual assault and other topics one may find triggering. Please skip this chapter if it's too much and helpful resources are posted on my page for anyone in need of help or someone to talk to.
Looking back now, Pink Kitty Escorts almost feels like a hazy fever dream. With some memories being good and some being bad. I guess it was the money that kept us coming back. Even today, when times are hard financially, I think about becoming Kendra again to help ease the burden. Realizing I romanticize the past and it's like I only want to remember the good. Then reality kicks in and I remember it 'All too well.'
When Jason was still in charge, most of the girls were busier than ever. When some of us would show up to work first thing in the morning, we would have seen at least ten clients by 4pm. Thats a full shift, so god forbid we would want to go home but nope. Jason would get upset if we didn't want to stay for the evening shift with no consideration of our well being. He also did not like if you had any restrictions like, no greek, no DFK, no daty, ect. I personally did not ever want to do greek, it's not my cup of tea, it's an exit door only! No kink shame for those who do.
However, Jason had a way in getting what he wanted, whether it was by flirting with you, telling you how amazing and sexy you are to switching like a light switch into this manipulative monster. If he didn't like what you had to say, he would either blast you on Terb about how horrible you are so clients would be turned off from wanting to see you, or he would threaten/blackmail you into getting what he wants. Jason and Lisa had a way into brainwashing us into thinking we couldn't do it on our own and that we needed them. If you dared to go off on your own, they would blast you online and to any interested Jons. Some of us got it worse than others...
The Red Herring
Jenny was a beautiful, nineteen year old, petite Japanese Canadian with a small bust, perky butt with short dark hair and a soft spoken voice. She use to work at Barbella's before working at PK. So the girl had experience and skill when it came to men. She loved to read, shy but also loved to be around people. Jenny was always kind and polite to everyone. Jons loved her. She was one of the most popular working girls next to Bella and Betty back in the day. in the beginning her restrictions were no bbbj, no greek, no cim and no kissing. She wanted to have safe sex with covered bjs, handjobs and fingering. That was until Jason would lie and say, "No one will want to see you if you have restrictions!" Of course, Jenny didn't believe him at first until Jason would purposefully withhold clients from her until he got what he wanted.
That was just the beginning to Jenny's downfall.
To all the Jons and pimps out there that would complain, leave a review online saying not gfe or manipulate and coreic any sex worker into relaxing on her restrictions, HOW DARE YOU & FUCK YOU! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a sex worker to have unprotected sex with anyone, especially multiple people? STDS are a thing and can be a leading cause to cancer or death. We don't know where your dick has been and its not like you show up to a session with your STD test in hand. But alas this was our reality. It goes to show how little most people care about the well beings of sex workers.
To the Hobbyists who respected our boundaries and restrictions. Who would also shower and brush their teeth before seeing us - You were the True Regulars we loved to have. Please don't change.
When girls would give into relaxing their restrictions, then Jons would start to demand it from other girls and the risks of passing around a sexual disease are much higher. "Well So n so gave me a bbbj and cim so why can't you?" or "Some of the other girls dfk and bbs, why can't you be more GFE like them."
This kind of manipulation from the Jons and the pimps (Jason & Lisa) caused so much drama and distrust amongst the PK girls. Fingers were always pointed at Jenny even when she hadn't done anything wrong.
What Does Consent mean to you?
In the world of Sex Work consent and discreteness is everything. Once either is broken there is no going back.
To me, true consent is rooted in mutual respect and clear boundaries. Consent isn't just the absence of a 'No', it's an active willing 'Yes'. It's an unpressured agreement to participate in an activity. It must be freely given, everyone involved must be fully capable of understanding what is happening. Meaning everyone involved completely agrees without fear or coercion. There is no valid consent if a person is incapacitated, asleep or manipulated.
You can give consent but you can also take it back at anytime, this needs to be remembered.
You asked for it....
It was a cold and slow fall night for me at PK, Lisa was running the phones that night and Damien was still driving girls to outcalls at the time. I was about to go home until Lisa called me about seeing a regular outcall client for three + hours. He originally wanted Paige or Jenny but neither were in that night so Lisa convinced him to see me. That's $720 + for that outcall. How could I turn that down? However, there was a catch. He had specific instructions before and during the session. He wanted me to be extra clean because he's a germaphobe and completely shaved. He also had a specific way of being touched, like tracing your fingers all over his body ever so softly until he felt ready to fuck and if you messed up you had to start over. Challenge accepted. One I come to regret later.
Right before Damien arrived to take me to the outcall, I slipped on my LBD (little black dress) and my heels to get ready to go. Then Lisa messaged me with a reminder to make sure I don't upset this client and that he has the best time because he was known to make bad reviews about girls on Terb. Taking note of what Lisa said, I grab my things and head down to Damien's car.
Upon arriving to the clients building, I text Lisa to let her know that I'm there and she gives me his buzzer and apt number then tells me to text her when I'm inside and he's paid. Once I got into the apartment, I was greeted by this big buff bald guy who looked like he was on steroids. As he takes a sip of his red wine he tells me to come in and get comfortable while he does a line from the mountain of cocaine on the counter and grabs my gift (code for money). I call him Car dealership guy cause he liked to brag about owning one and having lots of money.
Once Car dealership guy gave me my "gift", he took me to his room that had huge windows looking out of the city and dimmed LED lighting with a king sized bed. Before we began, he asked me if I do anal and bareback which I responded with a very clear no and he agreed. I was very clear on my boundaries and use of condoms. What started out with consent, ended in violation.
We both took our clothes off and he jumped onto the bed and laid on his back. After showing me how he likes to be touched before fucking, I straddled him and began tracing his body softly with my finger tips. He almost seemed relaxed, like a dream state with a hard on. After a while of doing that, he was ready to fuck, so I put the condom on and started grinding on his cock. Next minute I know it, he wants to change positions so he doesn't cum too fast. He asks me to lay on my stomach so he can trace my back and fuck me doggystyle.
Everything was going fine until he slipped out and almost stuck it in my ass. I screamed, "WRONG HOLE!" He chuckled, "sorry," and asked to take a break for a moment so he could run to the kitchen to do a line of cock and wash it back with his wine. When he came back into the room, he was definitely intoxicated and when I went to roll over onto my back to be in the missionary position, he aggressively flipped me back over onto my stomach. He pinned me down by placing his hand in the middle of my back, ripped off the condom without me realizing it and started fucking me hard. So hard I had to ask him a few times to slow down or lighten up because it hurt. He didn't listen. He slipped out again, but this time he shoved his cock into my ass. I screamed, "WRONG HOLE!! PLEASE STOP!!" He pinned me down harder and whispered, "Its okay, I'll be gentle I promise. It will feel good I promise." After asking him to stop multiple times and he didn't, I realized he wasn't going to stop. It felt like if he would have pressed any harder onto my spine that it would break. It felt like someone was thrusting a sledge hammer up my ass. I went limp, numb even. I don't know why I couldn't fight back. I had never felt so powerless until that moment. I rolled my head over to stare outside the window until it was over by him cumming onto my back.
I was traumatized by what had just happened and blood running down my leg as if I was on my period. I didn't say much afterward. Once car dealership guy finished, he tossed me a towel to clean myself up and went to the bathroom off his bedroom to rinse off. I immediately got dressed quickly and ran for the kitchen to put my shoes on then all of a sudden car dealership guy comes up behind me with a towel wrapped around his waist holding money in his hand. As I'm racing to get my shoes on he hands me another $200 tip and paid me a second time for the three hours. Which I was confused as to why but wasn't going to question it and just wanted the hell out of there. With not even saying thank you, I took the money with a soulless stare and then ran off like a bat out of hell.
Running out of the building towards Damien's car, I stopped for a moment and looked back at the building. I could feel this sense of darkness following behind me. Like a part of me was left behind in that apartment. A part of me I will never get back. I just wanted out of my own skin. Violated. Disgusting. How could he? How fucking dare he? Was all I could think about afterwards. And it's not like I could go to the cops... Its my word (a sexworker) against his (a powerful man with money).
Not wanting to talk about what happened, I gave Damien his $80 cut and begged him to take me home without any questions. And so he did...
Tag: coming of age
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During my time at Pink Kitty, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's possible I've romanticized my time with PK in past writings so I want to shine a light on the darker sides. Give some nuance on what it was like working for Jason and Lisa.
I joined PK in Aug. 2013 and stayed on & off till the very end...
I had just moved from my hometown to Ottawa for college, I was eighteen then. Jason was still incharge at the time but grooming Lisa to take over PK for when he leaves and Damien was the driver. Back then, I did not know about the cop, Sgt. Rohan Beebakhee, was involved with the agency. Everyone was hush hush on the topic.
Who was Jason? A handsome voice behind the phone, pulling the strings and holding all the cards. I was fresh young meat to Jason and he made sure his money maker (me) wasn't going anywhere. Publicly Jason talked highly about me and would book clients for me back to back to the point I didn't get much of a break from working. Most thought I was spared from his wrath and entitlement but behind the curtain, I was not. I have never met Jason in person nor have I seen what he looks like, but I'm sure I'd remember his voice because it's burned into my brain like a branded scar to show ownership.
I was naive and easily manipulated...blackmailed into not leaving. Jason knew where I was going to college, he knew where I lived and had my original back page nude photos with my face... I could see the headline then, "Student expelled from college for soliciting sex to men for money!" Jason always got what he wanted and I wasn't going anywhere until I was no longer the fresh meat.
Days I would have off or be in class, Jason would call and text me needing me to come in to the condo. Jason would try to sweet talk me into ditching class and if I tried to say no he would find a way to manipulate me in doing so. Whether it was with holding clients from seeing me or threatening to expose me, as long as I was making money he was happy and making money. At that point, I was working more than I was attending class and was just the beginning to my downfall.
Even though, Jason wasn't at Pink Kitty for very long when I joined, he still made a lasting traumatic effect on me. At first it was a relief when he left and Lisa took over, until it wasn't.
To Be Continued. -
There is a world inside me
made of chaos and dreams
the love I give is deeper
than the Marianas Trench
when I feel pain
it can shake mountains
I feel everything
too much, they say
too loud, too sharp, too fragile
too...something
Always too.
Society prefers its storms
to be predictable
as they whisper my diagnosis
like a warning label
my humanity gets buried
beneath the stereotypes
the villain,
the burden,
the broken thing wandering through
the wrong story
What they don't see
are the stitches I tug tight
over old wounds
the way I map out my triggers
like a cartographer tracing fault lines
learning where I break
so I can learn where I can rebuild
They don't see how growth feels
like climbing Mount Everest
wearing shoes made of glass
how healing is a language
I've had to invent
with nothing but trembling hands
and a heart that refuses to give up
I am not my storms
though I weather them
I am not my past
though it echos in me
I am a strong woman
learning and stumbling along the way
with hope that keeps showing up
even when I don't ask it to
So let them misunderstand
let them name me with their fear
while I continue to grow from everything
they thought would break me
- Living with Borderline -
I ask my inner voice
"What if I upset people with my writing?"
Inner voice responds
"Sometimes people's feelings need to get hurt."
- A reminder to myself -
Back when I started working at Pink Kitty I had been there for about a month. One night I had about ten clients in one day so you could imagine how tired and sore I was. However, I was feeling celebratory, adventurous, promiscuous! I was in a new city, I didn't really know anyone and I just made more money than I had in my entire life.. at eighteen! In Ontario, you have to be nineteen to drink and eighteen in Hull, Quebec.
As I was walking to the bus stop to go to the clubs in Hull I ran into a group of groomsman looking to show the groom a good time. They looked to be in they're early thirties, all wearing blue jeans and black t-shirts with a printed white tie on the front to resemble them "wearing a tie". At the same time this tall, blonde woman wearing a short, tight fitting sparkly pink dress in 9'inch heals happened to be walking by to the bus stop at the same time. The groomsman skipped over to the blonde woman who I'll call Sarah and I to invite us back to they're hotel for a party. Turns out, Sarah had just finished work at the strip club downtown and her blonde hair is a wig to help hide her identity. Before I could even say anything, Sarah responded by saying $250 an hour each and began to list off some restrictions & boundaries. Sarah looked over at me and asked if I was good with that. I just innocently smiled and nodded. How did she know? Is she a witch? Who cares! I was down for the ride. There were five groomsman including the groom and with excitement the groom hailed us a cab to take us to the hotel.
How it Started
As everyone got out of the cab to head to the elevators in the hotel lobby, I felt like moop (matter out of place) standing next to Sarah in my boots and floral dress. My hair was straightened and pinned back with a headband like I was a Blair Waldorf wannabe. Thankgod, I had matching bra and panties underneath. Once we got into the hotel room Sarah took control, kind of like Bella would. The best man, Luke, gave Sarah the cash for both of us upfront for the first 3 hours. She hands me my cut and sets an alarm. Mind you it was 12:30am on a Monday. But hey! I was eighteen who made some questionable choices and this was a mild decision if you ask me, considering this was just the beginning. The groom, Chase, started the music and poured everyone a shot of tequila. Raising our shot glasses, Luke shouts, "Let the real debauchery begin!" We all cheers and got the party started.
With the music playing and the tequila flowing everyone was having a good time. In the back of my mind I was feeling guilty that I was escorting behind Lisa & Jason's back. Like I had some kind of loyalty to them and for some reason I thought I'd still have to pay out to them even though this didn't happen at the condo. When Sarah came over to the counter to refill her drink and take a few shots of tequila, I asked her to pour me one and wondered if I should ask what she thinks. This woman had a way with reading people and knowing what they want or needed before even saying anything. She comes over to me and hands me a shot of tequila. After we cheersed and had our shots, Sarah looks over at me and says, "you know, I've been in this game for a really long time. I can tell you're new to this and I can also tell something is on your mind. Tell me what's going on so we can let loose, make some money and have a good time." How did she know? Why does my face give everything away? UGH. So I shyly asked her and she said, "you don't say anything to them, it's none of their business and what we do here tonight stays here. Like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!"
After playing strip poker, Sarah took the lead by grabbing a chair and placing it in the middle of the room. There was a small kitchen, spacious living room area with a love seat, chairs and a pull out bed and a seperate bedroom. Sarah takes over the music, Grabs Chase and seats him where everyone can watch while she gives him a sultry lap dance. Luke and the second groomsmen, Derek, were hound dogging like they were fraternity brothers going out for the first time. Throwing five and ten dollar bills around them. The other two Blake and Jordan were more like wallflowers. They were both already married with families but wanted to partake in some of the fun.
After a few songs had played, Sarah began to pick up the money the guys had tossed around like they we're at a strip club. She probably picked up a couple hundred dollars off the floor. I was in awe of her and they way she used her sexuality and good looks to bring the men to her knees. They were happy to pay or do whatever she wanted. That's powerful!
More tequila shots and mixed drinks later, Luke and Derek were really feeling Sarah and she was seeing dollar signs. With an hour or so left on the clock before Sarah's alarm would go off. While pulling out another five hundred dollars, Luke insisted he and Sarah go into the other room to get their "freak on", and yes he said that. Derek overheard the conversation and wanted to get his dick wet as well. "Hey man, think you could cover me tonight so I can join in on the action and no one has to know?" Derek said. Without hesitation, Luke pulls out another five hundred dollars, says "I got you man and this stays between us." He then asked Sarah, "would this be enough?" Sarah takes the money, puts it in her pink clutch that also had lube and condoms inside. She then takes the guys into the room and Luke throws his wallet over to Chase and says, "Get freaky boys, tonight is on me!" I blushed as Chase looked over at me.
While Sarah was in the room having a threesome with Luke and Derek, I was in the living room with Chase, Blake and Jordan. By that time, Jordan was passed out drunk on the kitchen floor and Blake was feeling tired but also eager to call his wife and say goodnight. Blake grabs another drink and slips out onto the balcony to make his phone call. He stayed up talking to his wife, sitting on the balcony till sunrise.
And then there were two.
Chase and I sat on the loveseat and talked for a bit while we could overhear moaning from the bedroom. Chase asked a lot of questions like, Why am I doing this? WOW! You're only eighteen?! How many guys have I slept with? It was like I was being interviewed at first. Though Chase couldn't keep his hands off my thighs and every now and then he would say, "God you're so hot, I can't believe you're only eighteen. You're so young, I just want to fuck you," while grabbing my thighs tighter. I started to pull away and asked, "aren't you getting married soon?" Chase with his frat boy smile, laughed and said, "come on Kendra, it's my bachelor party! Nobody here is going to say anything. You're here to show me a good time."
In that moment, it was like something ignited in me. Chase pulled me closer to him, started to kiss my neck and began to pull out hundred dollar bills from Lukes wallet. "How much is it going to take to get you onto my dick?" He says to me, while holding up seven hundred dollars. He continues to kiss my neck and my chest. Pulling out another two hundred dollars. The moaning in the background began to get louder than the music. I couldn't help it that I was getting turned on. As soon as I took the money from Chase's hand and put it into my clutch, he pulled me on top of him and started grinding his boner into me. While he was kissing my chest everywhere, he unclipped my bra and took it off from under my dress. Pulling the top of my dress down exposing my boobs and cuffing them in his hands. "You have the most perfect titts I have ever seen", he says to me then begins to lick and suck my nipples. Between the moaning coming from the bedroom and Chase thrusting his boner into me, I could feel my panties getting wet. I tore his shirt off only to find how ripped he was. Dark brown hair, blue eyes and a six pack in his thirties? I'm in trouble. We were dry humping like teenagers. As I was going to unbuckle his pants, I could hear Sarah's alarm go off.
Sarah, Luke and Derek come out of the room while still putting their clothes on and fix their sex hair. Without even saying anything, Chase lifts me up and takes me to the room. Sarah shouts, "I'll wait for you till you're done!"
Chase then tosses me onto my back on the bed, closes the door and stars to takes his pants off. I grabbed a condom from my purse and handed it to him. While he put the condom on, I took my dress off leaving me in just my underwear. Chase lays on top of me, kissing my breasts, running is hands all over my body then rips my panties off. He wrapped my legs around his waist, picked me up by my hips, slid his cock inside me and began to fuck me rough standing up. Chase fucked me all over the room and in every position possible. He even paid me extra to cum in my mouth, my titts and on my back. By the time we were done fucking, it was six in the morning.
Once Chase and I came out of the room, everyone except for Luke and Sarah, were asleep. Sarah and I began to gather our things to get ready to leave. Chase and Luke thanked us for the good time as they walked us out the door.
As soon as we got into the elevator, I immediately opened my purse to see the wads of cash I had just made that night and it was all mine. No payouts. No room fee. No driver's fee. It was all mine. For a moment, it felt surreal. I felt a bit guilty for sleeping with a man who was about to get married but the money I held in my hand left me feeling more proud of myself. The guilt slowly faded and I knew after that night, I could take care of myself. -
In three years I hope I've made some of my dreams come true; like becoming a published author, hosting events and continue helping combat sex trafficking & advocate for victims and survivors. I feel by then I'll be in a place to give others a voice who don't have one or too scared. I hope I'll be able to provide a safe space for those in the sex industry and share my experiences in hopes others won't feel so alone.

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Your current situation
is giving you an opportunity
to re-evaluate what you really want.
