Sometimes I feel being naked is a bad thing, too much over sharing. Being naked doesn’t have to be sexual, being naked is okay, I have nothing to hide and I have no means in which to hide. I want to feel free, so here I am, naked for you. I have kept so many secrets for so long.  Somehow, I was capable in detaching myself from feeling wrong and guilty. I was able to compartmentalize my personal world with being a sex worker and was able to operate in both worlds. Until I couldn’t.  To start, I want to tell you about Kendra.

When I was deciding to become Kendra I remembered I could be whoever I wanted to be. I didn’t like myself very much, so becoming somebody else was easy.

Kendra is a very seductive, sexy, manipulative woman. She loves having control over powerful, rich men. They are like her cat toys. She feeds off them when they give into her. The more you fall for Kendra, the stronger she gets. She loves to come out and play. Kendra gets off by destroying men or women who find themselves on the wrong side. Revenge is her sweetener and control is the whiskey she puts into her coffee. The more control she has, the more control she has over me. She can seduce you with her eyes and make you do anything she wants. It scares me, how I could create such a seductive monster but I love her just as much as you will. You want to hate Kendra but you can’t help but be intrigued. 

Kendra was my protection. I created her to protect who I was, how I felt and how I acted. I had no choice, without Kendra, I would have been swallowed up whole and lost who I really was. Though, turning myself off and turning on Kendra, did exactly what I didn’t want. 

In the beginning it was easy, it was like acting. Kendra was the “girl next door”, everyone wanted a piece of her. She knew exactly what you wanted before you even took your pants off. She knew how to touch you; where to touch you; what to say, and how to set the mood. But as soon as the session was over and the Jon would leave, I would become myself again. So I thought… Half a year had passed at this point and I was beginning to lose sight in who I was and why I was here. When I say I was beginning to lose myself, I was becoming what I was creating to protect myself. Kendra has no empathy, she’s a manipulative, smooth talking goddess. When Kendra wanted something, she got it. She would use her looks to seduce the men and her personality to entertain them, Kendra was the sweetest bitch you had ever met.

 The first time I ever allowed myself to become Kendra was after my first day. My first day was horrifying.  I ended up in the bathroom after crying my eyes out as my phone is ringing that I have another appointment. I was not prepared and the next Jon was not prepared for me; an inexperienced working girl. At this time I was blonde, weighing at 140lbs, 34B and only 18 years old. In most people’s eyes, I was still an innocent girl. A baby, the other girls would call me.

BELLA

      While I was crying in the corner of the bathroom, Bella comes in, tells me to get off my ass and come to the kitchen where she handed me a shot of Havana Rum. I barely drank at this time, so it was new for me. 2 shots later and a buzz, she asked me if I felt better, and in my mind I wanted to say no but I knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for so instead I told her I was fine. It wasn’t until someone I knew when I was 12 found me on Backpage, that I needed to be someone else; literally. Bella decided to take it upon herself to mentor me; in how to be a bitch, not to feel and not be me. This was the beginning of Kendra; a seductive monster.

Bella started by giving me a makeover, she did my makeup to the point where I couldn’t recognize myself and I ended up chopping off my long hair and going blonder. Next, she dressed me up in 9 inch heels, fishnet tights and a small, tight black dress that if I were to bend over you could see my ass. She told me: separate what I wear and what Kendra would wear. Bella ended up taking me shopping to buy Kendra a new wardrobe, lingerie, heels, panties, and new sexy dresses. She then began to prepare me for the evening of work. She told me I needed to be a bitch and to leave my feelings at the door, she had also warned me to be careful of the other working girls. They seemed so sweet and well groomed. Not a hair out of place, nails done, their makeup was perfect, and they smelled sweetly intoxicating. There were 4 other girls working that night as well as Rain, the woman of the house. She was like the mama bear of all of us girls, she was older but the sweetest person there. Her and Bella were very close unlike the rest of the girls. We may all be there for the same thing, money, but the girls always had a hidden agenda. I didn’t know this, yet; I was pretty naïve and influenced easily. After Bella finished giving me a makeover, she hands me another shot of Rum, says that it will take the edge off and now it’s time to play the game. 

Bella was the most beautiful, petite Latina woman I had ever met; long black hair, dark eyes, long fake nails, and a perfect fit body. Bella had been in the game for 4 years at this point. She had a routine when she would come into work, she would change into her little black dress, sparkly heels, do her makeup, then pour herself a Havana Rum, 3 ice and Coke with lime. She didn’t smoke nor did drugs, just drank. She was unlike the other girls that worked at the condo. Bella was a smooth talker with a sexy Spanish accent but she was also a bitch, one of the sweetest. She was someone you wanted to have on your side and not against you. She usually kept to herself when it came to the other girls, but for some reason she took me under her wing. Bella made the most money out of all of us girls and had the most regulars. Bella was like taking a taste of a forbidden fruit.

I was always curious as to what she was like as soon as the door closed, until one day I no longer needed to be curious as we were paid for a duo.  

The Perfect Escort

    Working at the condo with Bella was never boring. As I previously mentioned, she would always show up with a big bottle of Havana Rum and loved to play sexy Latin music, I could never understand what they were singing about but I could tell you, it made my hips want to move. 

Ever since, Bella helped me out on my first day, she would always invite me into one of the three rooms with her to get ready for our night. Mind you, we didn’t always work nights, however, weekends were the money makers… and when we would get drunk guys wanting to fuck but can’t get a boner due to all the whiskey and coke they snorted up their noses; that’s when things get freaky.

After Bella would finish getting ready, she would help me with my hair and makeup. Half the time I couldn’t recognize myself considering I always wore minimal makeup. She was always so pretty even without all the makeup. The way her Spanish accent, long black hair that would cover her boobs like the little mermaid, and sexy little black dresses she would wear could turn you on instantly. I wouldn’t say I was into Bella, more like I wanted to be like her.

Bella was disciplined, poised, always made sure she was paid upfront, full amount and made sure they knew the rules before we began. She was the full Girlfriend Experience. She would bring her own candles, massage table, massage oil, lube, toys, and different outfits. She wore this gold diamond chain around her hips and pelvis that accentuated her tight curves. Bella was what you could call, “The Perfect Escort.”

I will admit, I was nervous about my duo with Bella even though I wasn’t going to be having sex, all the client wanted was for me to watch while Bella played with him.

This client was one of Bella’s regulars and he wanted the wildest things. He came prepared, a dog leash, money, condoms, and Havana Rum for Bella. He paid $400 upfront for both Bella and I for a one hour session. We took a shot in the kitchen, went to the bedroom, closed the door and the session began. 

The Jon had put the leash on and had Bella walk him around the room like a dog, he would even beg on his knees to suck the end of her heels. She would make him deep throat them while saying, “you like deep throating my shoe, is your cock getting hard?” ‘Jon unzipped his pants and began jerking off.

After, she would make him beg her to fuck him. He would get on his knees, kissing Bella’s feet while she would look at him with disgust and say, “get up you dirty pig and bend over”, as she would put a big black strap on on and begin fucking him hard in the ass. 

I had racing thoughts, wondering how did that not hurt while trying to focus on not showing my true emotion…mortified. Every so often Bella would look over at me and ask the Jon if he liked me watching him be humiliated and with an eager loud “yes!!!” he would ask her to give it to him deeper. I won’t lie, it kind of turned me on watching him climax. Within minutes he was ejaculating everywhere and Bella looks over at me with a seductive grin. I realized that day that the sound of moaning and watching someone climax really gets me wet.