As much as you can try to predict or control your future, it’s never what you’d actually think it would be. Life throws you into some crazy situations and you have to go with it. Friends will become enemies and past lovers will become strangers. You tear yourself down, sometimes with the help of others and life gets so crazy that working on self-love takes a back seat. You hit the lowest of lows, miles past what you thought was rock bottom and learn to normalize it.  

I’m Annabelle and the life I had, compared to the life I have now was not what I expected.

Just when you think you’ve got the hang of something, its familliarness just slips right out of your fingers. What’s next? What are you supposed to do now? You’ve taken every direction possible to try and regain control, but nothing seems to work in your favor. I’m navigating this world just like you. Maybe our compass is pointed in the opposite direction of one another, but we’re both on the same journey to finding ourselves. Whether it’s the decision of going to college or not or you’ve gone to college/University and realized you’ve just wasted 4 years of your life: We’ve all been there at some point. Not just college experiences, but becoming a young adult. One day you have a full stock of groceries and the next you’re so broke that all you have left to eat is dry pasta and mustard. 

Freshman 15; that’s a thing. 

Guys our age… don’t even bother. 

If you already found the one KEEP HIM! Good men are a needle in a haystack. I prefer older men, but age doesn’t always equal maturity. They can be more immature than a twenty-one-year-old. You could possibly have already found The One that you want to settle down with and have children or maybe you’ve decided you don’t want children. Either way, only take what you want not what others feel you should want. 

Are you keeping up so far?

If so, welcome to my life, this collection of ramblings, life lessons and thoughts are just a brief overview of my life thus far. I wouldn’t say this is a self-help blog; I am no expert. However, I would say I have a story that shouldn’t be left unheard. I struggled and still struggle with money and its management. I’ve resorted to cleaning my “friends list” more times than I can count, and have only found a small handful of people that I wish to keep around.

 I believe that you can never stop trying to change and better yourself and that we should learn from others’ mistakes. I am also a strong believer that things happen for a reason. If any of my experiences help you, then to me; a good deed has been done. The reason why I have begun this blog/book was to free myself from my past and learn from my own mistakes… so I thought. I will cover some promiscuous stories, my struggles with adulting, alcohol, sex work, and my struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Betrayal, lies, heartbreak, being the worst version of myself, failing my second semester of college, almost losing myself to my persona to getting a second chance at a better life. 

So buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride.