Back when I started working at Pink Kitty I had been there for about a month. One night I had about ten clients in one day so you could imagine how tired and sore I was. However, I was feeling celebratory, adventurous, promiscuous! I was in a new city, I didn't really know anyone and I just made more money than I had in my entire life.. at eighteen! In Ontario, you have to be nineteen to drink and eighteen in Hull, Quebec.
As I was walking to the bus stop to go to the clubs in Hull I ran into a group of groomsman looking to show the groom a good time. They looked to be in they're early thirties, all wearing blue jeans and black t-shirts with a printed white tie on the front to resemble them "wearing a tie". At the same time this tall, blonde woman wearing a short, tight fitting sparkly pink dress in 9'inch heals happened to be walking by to the bus stop at the same time. The groomsman skipped over to the blonde woman who I'll call Sarah and I to invite us back to they're hotel for a party. Turns out, Sarah had just finished work at the strip club downtown and her blonde hair is a wig to help hide her identity. Before I could even say anything, Sarah responded by saying $250 an hour each and began to list off some restrictions & boundaries. Sarah looked over at me and asked if I was good with that. I just innocently smiled and nodded. How did she know? Is she a witch? Who cares! I was down for the ride. There were five groomsman including the groom and with excitement the groom hailed us a cab to take us to the hotel.
How it Started
As everyone got out of the cab to head to the elevators in the hotel lobby, I felt like moop (matter out of place) standing next to Sarah in my boots and floral dress. My hair was straightened and pinned back with a headband like I was a Blair Waldorf wannabe. Thankgod, I had matching bra and panties underneath. Once we got into the hotel room Sarah took control, kind of like Bella would. The best man, Luke, gave Sarah the cash for both of us upfront for the first 3 hours. She hands me my cut and sets an alarm. Mind you it was 12:30am on a Monday. But hey! I was eighteen who made some questionable choices and this was a mild decision if you ask me, considering this was just the beginning. The groom, Chase, started the music and poured everyone a shot of tequila. Raising our shot glasses, Luke shouts, "Let the real debauchery begin!" We all cheers and got the party started.
With the music playing and the tequila flowing everyone was having a good time. In the back of my mind I was feeling guilty that I was escorting behind Lisa & Jason's back. Like I had some kind of loyalty to them and for some reason I thought I'd still have to pay out to them even though this didn't happen at the condo. When Sarah came over to the counter to refill her drink and take a few shots of tequila, I asked her to pour me one and wondered if I should ask what she thinks. This woman had a way with reading people and knowing what they want or needed before even saying anything. She comes over to me and hands me a shot of tequila. After we cheersed and had our shots, Sarah looks over at me and says, "you know, I've been in this game for a really long time. I can tell you're new to this and I can also tell something is on your mind. Tell me what's going on so we can let loose, make some money and have a good time." How did she know? Why does my face give everything away? UGH. So I shyly asked her and she said, "you don't say anything to them, it's none of their business and what we do here tonight stays here. Like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!"
After playing strip poker, Sarah took the lead by grabbing a chair and placing it in the middle of the room. There was a small kitchen, spacious living room area with a love seat, chairs and a pull out bed and a seperate bedroom. Sarah takes over the music, Grabs Chase and seats him where everyone can watch while she gives him a sultry lap dance. Luke and the second groomsmen, Derek, were hound dogging like they were fraternity brothers going out for the first time. Throwing five and ten dollar bills around them. The other two Blake and Jordan were more like wallflowers. They were both already married with families but wanted to partake in some of the fun.
After a few songs had played, Sarah began to pick up the money the guys had tossed around like they we're at a strip club. She probably picked up a couple hundred dollars off the floor. I was in awe of her and they way she used her sexuality and good looks to bring the men to her knees. They were happy to pay or do whatever she wanted. That's powerful!
More tequila shots and mixed drinks later, Luke and Derek were really feeling Sarah and she was seeing dollar signs. With an hour or so left on the clock before Sarah's alarm would go off. While pulling out another five hundred dollars, Luke insisted he and Sarah go into the other room to get their "freak on", and yes he said that. Derek overheard the conversation and wanted to get his dick wet as well. "Hey man, think you could cover me tonight so I can join in on the action and no one has to know?" Derek said. Without hesitation, Luke pulls out another five hundred dollars, says "I got you man and this stays between us." He then asked Sarah, "would this be enough?" Sarah takes the money, puts it in her pink clutch that also had lube and condoms inside. She then takes the guys into the room and Luke throws his wallet over to Chase and says, "Get freaky boys, tonight is on me!" I blushed as Chase looked over at me.
While Sarah was in the room having a threesome with Luke and Derek, I was in the living room with Chase, Blake and Jordan. By that time, Jordan was passed out drunk on the kitchen floor and Blake was feeling tired but also eager to call his wife and say goodnight. Blake grabs another drink and slips out onto the balcony to make his phone call. He stayed up talking to his wife, sitting on the balcony till sunrise.
And then there were two.
Chase and I sat on the loveseat and talked for a bit while we could overhear moaning from the bedroom. Chase asked a lot of questions like, Why am I doing this? WOW! You're only eighteen?! How many guys have I slept with? It was like I was being interviewed at first. Though Chase couldn't keep his hands off my thighs and every now and then he would say, "God you're so hot, I can't believe you're only eighteen. You're so young, I just want to fuck you," while grabbing my thighs tighter. I started to pull away and asked, "aren't you getting married soon?" Chase with his frat boy smile, laughed and said, "come on Kendra, it's my bachelor party! Nobody here is going to say anything. You're here to show me a good time."
In that moment, it was like something ignited in me. Chase pulled me closer to him, started to kiss my neck and began to pull out hundred dollar bills from Lukes wallet. "How much is it going to take to get you onto my dick?" He says to me, while holding up seven hundred dollars. He continues to kiss my neck and my chest. Pulling out another two hundred dollars. The moaning in the background began to get louder than the music. I couldn't help it that I was getting turned on. As soon as I took the money from Chase's hand and put it into my clutch, he pulled me on top of him and started grinding his boner into me. While he was kissing my chest everywhere, he unclipped my bra and took it off from under my dress. Pulling the top of my dress down exposing my boobs and cuffing them in his hands. "You have the most perfect titts I have ever seen", he says to me then begins to lick and suck my nipples. Between the moaning coming from the bedroom and Chase thrusting his boner into me, I could feel my panties getting wet. I tore his shirt off only to find how ripped he was. Dark brown hair, blue eyes and a six pack in his thirties? I'm in trouble. We were dry humping like teenagers. As I was going to unbuckle his pants, I could hear Sarah's alarm go off.
Sarah, Luke and Derek come out of the room while still putting their clothes on and fix their sex hair. Without even saying anything, Chase lifts me up and takes me to the room. Sarah shouts, "I'll wait for you till you're done!"
Chase then tosses me onto my back on the bed, closes the door and stars to takes his pants off. I grabbed a condom from my purse and handed it to him. While he put the condom on, I took my dress off leaving me in just my underwear. Chase lays on top of me, kissing my breasts, running is hands all over my body then rips my panties off. He wrapped my legs around his waist, picked me up by my hips, slid his cock inside me and began to fuck me rough standing up. Chase fucked me all over the room and in every position possible. He even paid me extra to cum in my mouth, my titts and on my back. By the time we were done fucking, it was six in the morning.
Once Chase and I came out of the room, everyone except for Luke and Sarah, were asleep. Sarah and I began to gather our things to get ready to leave. Chase and Luke thanked us for the good time as they walked us out the door.
As soon as we got into the elevator, I immediately opened my purse to see the wads of cash I had just made that night and it was all mine. No payouts. No room fee. No driver's fee. It was all mine. For a moment, it felt surreal. I felt a bit guilty for sleeping with a man who was about to get married but the money I held in my hand left me feeling more proud of myself. The guilt slowly faded and I knew after that night, I could take care of myself.
Tag: blog
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Your current situation
is giving you an opportunity
to re-evaluate what you really want.
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long walks in the dark
along these lonely streets
wondering
what the universe has planned for me
if only I could see that one day
my mind will be stress free
I’m on the run
to find
where I belong
with no where to go
or a place to call home
they say the ground can be cold
with endless nights
and no one to hold
if god only knew
I’m not that strong
I can only hold on for so long
I once had it all
till the devil got jealous
took me by the hand and said
we can be friends
where do I go from here
I’ve hit rock bottom
looking through a bottle
I’m stuck at a dead end
wishing someone could save me
but what if there’s nothing
left to save
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Let me start off by saying, the lifestyle I used to live is far behind me and I’m in a healthy relationship now with someone who accepts me and my past. But I still go back to remind myself that any situation, good or bad, is an opportunity to grow. I wouldn’t be here without my mistakes (which I am still sort of embarrassed to be writing about.)
Back when I was a sex worker some of the men I have encountered were married but I never asked questions because they were either paying me and or I was oblivious and naïve. But sometimes I feel I subconsciously knew that they were not the man for me or that there was something shady going on. I could also tell when a man has taken his wedding ring off to pretend he is not married… There is a damn tan line.
For instance, I met this guy just by asking him if I could “bum/buy” a smoke off him. Of course I got one and his number in the process (he insisted). Instantly I knew in the back of my mind that I didn’t have time for this guy and that I had bigger fish to fry. I had just moved to Toronto for Event Planning. But again, he insisted that he wanted to get to know me. He sweetly talked me into drinks by brushing my hair out of my face when I was talking and I fell into his dick sand hard.
Dick sand is like quicksand but with dicks. It’s when a girl meets a guy and instead of standing firmly on solid ground knowing who she is and how she feels about herself she instead quickly starts to sink into dick sand. It’s where you lose the ability to know what you like and instead you like and do everything the guy likes. You start merging into the female version of the guy by liking what he likes, not allowing yourself to have your own personal interests or opinions. Initially losing yourself in the dick sand.
A reference from one of my favorite movies, (How To Be Single).
Did I also mention he was very sexy. Luke was tall, athletic, dark green eyes with slick back, thick blonde hair. but never be fooled by a pretty face. I wasn’t entirely oblivious to the signs, I could feel that something seemed off but I couldn’t piece it together. I honestly was just enjoying the attention this man was giving me. We will call him Luke.
Luke wanted to take me out for drinks when I was done school and of course I agreed. A hot guy and free beer, what could possibly go wrong? While out for beers, in the span of an hour, he bought me a bunch of beers and shots, you could say we were having a good time. Until he had to leave abruptly. He bought me another beer, paid the tab and left. I didn’t hear from him for 3 days. His excuse, he was “sick.”
I didn’t hear from him for a few more days, until I decided to message him to go out for drinks again, but this time I ended up being tipsy. He paid for beers and shots, yet again. Prior to us going out for drinks, I was feeling off guard. A funny feeling you could say. However, it was fun being able to go out for some drinks and let loose. And I didn’t even have to pay for it. Considering I had been working my ass off in school non stop for four months, a little fun couldn’t hurt right?
I did however tell him about my working girl days and it seemed to be a turn on to him. I don’t know why I told him, maybe I knew deep down it didn’t mean anything. We ended up going back to Union Station where he works as a project manager to “hang out”. You can already guess where this one is going. We ended up fucking on a conference table at Union Station. He definitely had me hot and bothered but in the back of my mind it wasn’t what I wanted. But it takes two to tango and I went with it for the whole two minutes. Did I mention I was wearing pants that day. He starts to aggressively kiss me, calling me a “dirty girl,” and pushing me down to my knees to suck his cock.
“You like sucking that big cock don’t you”, he says as he pulls my hair, with his cock in my mouth, I look up and nod my head.
But in the back of my mind, I didn’t.
After a few minutes on my knees, he pulls me up, rips my shirt off and takes one of my boots and leg pant off. He fucked me fully clothed before I could put a condom on, yelling “oh fuck baby, I love your tight pussy baby”, then came inside of me and instantly began to get dressed.
As soon as I went to the bathroom, I felt ashamed. Why? In that moment I couldn’t tell you why. I am usually up for the thrill for a story. But this time felt very different. He treated me like an escort and I didn’t even get paid for it. He ended up leaving again right away. I didn’t hear from him for days. Which was to be expected.
We ended up bumping into one another again at Union Station on my way to class and he asked me out for drinks. This time I paid… Which was stupid on my part. This time I was a bit more than tipsy. Bumping into him threw me off. I had a bad feeling but for some reason I still went. Maybe it was my low self esteem or maybe I was lonely.
We ended up going back to his office where I had mentioned to him that it seems that he is only bringing me to his office to fuck me again. Which was exactly the case. But me being more than a few drinks in and him sweet talking me, by grabbing my hips, kissing my neck really softly, and lightly touching my pussy, I gave in. He even asked if I wanted to have sex… after we were already undressed and I had deepthroat his cock. At that point I didn’t care. You could say I lost some of my self respect. We ended up fucking all over the conference room. When he asked me “baby can I cum in you”, the mood seemed to change. I also dislike being called baby by men who is not my lover, I’m not his baby. He then bent me over the conference table and began to drill me from behind briefly and didn’t end up coming. Neither did I. Both times I had slept with him I did not have an orgasm. So not worth it.
Right after he “had to go” but decided to take the same train as me to stay at his parents. But while we were on the train, I had a feeling something was wrong but I just kept ignoring it. (Don’t ever ignore your intuition). When he went to get off the train, he said “I’ll text you later baby”. Ya right. Which I was right. He never messaged me. I ended up calling my best friend bawling, telling her how I felt ashamed. She told me, maybe it is my intuition trying to tell me something. A day or two later I was thinking about how I didn’t even know his last name like the Carrie Underwood song. Going back into my phone records, I noticed he had called me back when we first met which showed his last name. I decided to look him up to find out he had a wife and kids back home…
Yup you heard it right. I got fooled yet again by another pretty face. It’s not like it hurt as in I had feelings for him but it hurt to know that he has a family at home and I was so naïve to not even acknowledge the signs. Let me tell you that this whole situation hit me hard. Harder than any other dick sand I had fallen into. I felt I lost myself briefly to this guy who I barely knew. I didn’t know how to react, how to feel, or what to do. Do I confront him? Do I tell her? What am I supposed to do? My friends say I should have messaged his wife, but I feel that is going to do no good, it will just cause a whole new problem. But then again, she is being cheated on by “the love of her life” and may not even know it. I mean I would want to know but then again, having some random woman messaging you won’t make the situation any easier.
I ended up telling my aunt about what had happened because it began to bother me in what I should do, and her advice was just what I needed. My aunt is very straight forward and won’t sugar coat the issue. I decided not to message the woman, I do not know her, her situation nor do I know what I’d be setting myself up for. It could either put me in danger or blow up in my face. So to save face, I just brushed it off, learned my lesson and moved on.
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He took me by the hand
Said I’d be safe
Only to realize
it was another trap
And now I can’t escape
Dating a Narcissist
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Everyday
you wake up
swing your feet over your bed
onto the floor
but what happens
when the floor slips
from under your feet
and you fall
How do you get back up
when there’s nothing
to hold onto
or to help you find
a way back
from rock bottom
just when you thought
you finally had a grasp
on what life is
you realize
you have been fooled
the sadness has a hold on you
stopping you from reaching the top
to get knocked down
over and over
makes it easier to stay
in the sadness
it’s almost comfortable
too comfortable
to want to leave.
