There is a world inside me
made of chaos and dreams
the love I give is deeper
than the Marianas Trench
when I feel pain
it can shake mountains
I feel everything
too much, they say
too loud, too sharp, too fragile
too...something
Always too.
Society prefers its storms
to be predictable
as they whisper my diagnosis
like a warning label
my humanity gets buried
beneath the stereotypes
the villain,
the burden,
the broken thing wandering through
the wrong story
What they don't see
are the stitches I tug tight
over old wounds
the way I map out my triggers
like a cartographer tracing fault lines
learning where I break
so I can learn where I can rebuild
They don't see how growth feels
like climbing Mount Everest
wearing shoes made of glass
how healing is a language
I've had to invent
with nothing but trembling hands
and a heart that refuses to give up
I am not my storms
though I weather them
I am not my past
though it echos in me
I am a strong woman
learning and stumbling along the way
with hope that keeps showing up
eve when I don't ask it to
So let them misunderstand
let them name me with their fear
while I continue to grow from everything
they thought would break me
- Living with Borderline
Category: poetry
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You were thunder in red bottom high heels
long black hair like midnight silk
a heart stitched with gold and grit
spilling over with love
even when your body achedLatina spice with designer dreams
you made the world your runway
a mother, a muse
with two bright sons and a gentle man
who held your hand through the stormWe met where the shadows dance
and stories stay locked in whispersYou took me under your wing
like you’d been born to fly
and teach others how to soar tooyou were the light
guiding me through the dark
No one will ever knowwhat was hidden underneath it all
but I carry it like a secret flame
a force to be reckoned with
To know you was to ache
to crave more of youlike getting a taste of a forbidden fruit
to be forever marked
by the depth of your spirit.Even sick, you burned brighter
than most do in their healthiest hour.And today on this special day
we celebrate the miracle of your existence
the legacy of your love
the fire you left behind
that still warms our broken hearts.Happy birthday, Linda
You were one of a kind
And I’ll never stop loving you
for all the lives you lived -
long walks in the dark
along these lonely streets
wondering
what the universe has planned for me
if only I could see that one day
my mind will be stress free
I’m on the run
to find
where I belong
with no where to go
or a place to call home
they say the ground can be cold
with endless nights
and no one to hold
if god only knew
I’m not that strong
I can only hold on for so long
I once had it all
till the devil got jealous
took me by the hand and said
we can be friends
where do I go from here
I’ve hit rock bottom
looking through a bottle
I’m stuck at a dead end
wishing someone could save me
but what if there’s nothing
left to save
-
He took me by the hand
Said I’d be safe
Only to realize
it was another trap
And now I can’t escape
Dating a Narcissist
-
Everyday
you wake up
swing your feet over your bed
onto the floor
but what happens
when the floor slips
from under your feet
and you fall
How do you get back up
when there’s nothing
to hold onto
or to help you find
a way back
from rock bottom
just when you thought
you finally had a grasp
on what life is
you realize
you have been fooled
the sadness has a hold on you
stopping you from reaching the top
to get knocked down
over and over
makes it easier to stay
in the sadness
it’s almost comfortable
too comfortable
to want to leave.
-
you feel so good
that I’m always tempted
to have a taste of you
but I know
you’re bad for me
you can be so cheap
that is makes
you dangerous
you taste so bitter
the burn I feel
once you’ve hit my soul
you make it okay
you make me feel good
you make me sad
if I fill myself with too much
of you
testing fate
doesn’t seem so bad
one taste
and I want more of you
maybe I have a problem
maybe I don’t
having you in my life
seems to make things easier
but in the end
you just make things worse
how can something
be so bad for you
but feel so good
you’re always there
when no one else is
when I’m happy
when I’m sad
it’s a never ending battle with you
I love you
but I hate you
– my relationship with alcohol
Innocence 