*******Warning ******
This next chapter contains violence towards women, sexual assault and other topics one may find triggering. Please skip this chapter if it's too much and helpful resources are posted on my page for anyone in need of help or someone to talk to.
Looking back now, Pink Kitty Escorts almost feels like a hazy fever dream. With some memories being good and some being bad. I guess it was the money that kept us coming back. Even today, when times are hard financially, I think about becoming Kendra again to help ease the burden. Realizing I romanticize the past and it's like I only want to remember the good. Then reality kicks in and I remember it 'All too well.'
When Jason was still in charge, most of the girls were busier than ever. When some of us would show up to work first thing in the morning, we would have seen at least ten clients by 4pm. Thats a full shift, so god forbid we would want to go home but nope. Jason would get upset if we didn't want to stay for the evening shift with no consideration of our well being. He also did not like if you had any restrictions like, no greek, no DFK, no daty, ect. I personally did not ever want to do greek, it's not my cup of tea, it's an exit door only! No kink shame for those who do.
However, Jason had a way in getting what he wanted, whether it was by flirting with you, telling you how amazing and sexy you are to switching like a light switch into this manipulative monster. If he didn't like what you had to say, he would either blast you on Terb about how horrible you are so clients would be turned off from wanting to see you, or he would threaten/blackmail you into getting what he wants. Jason and Lisa had a way into brainwashing us into thinking we couldn't do it on our own and that we needed them. If you dared to go off on your own, they would blast you online and to any interested Jons. Some of us got it worse than others...
The Red Herring
Jenny was a beautiful, nineteen year old, petite Japanese Canadian with a small bust, perky butt with short dark hair and a soft spoken voice. She use to work at Barbella's before working at PK. So the girl had experience and skill when it came to men. She loved to read, shy but also loved to be around people. Jenny was always kind and polite to everyone. Jons loved her. She was one of the most popular working girls next to Bella and Betty back in the day. in the beginning her restrictions were no bbbj, no greek, no cim and no kissing. She wanted to have safe sex with covered bjs, handjobs and fingering. That was until Jason would lie and say, "No one will want to see you if you have restrictions!" Of course, Jenny didn't believe him at first until Jason would purposefully withhold clients from her until he got what he wanted.
That was just the beginning to Jenny's downfall.
To all the Jons and pimps out there that would complain, leave a review online saying not gfe or manipulate and coreic any sex worker into relaxing on her restrictions, HOW DARE YOU & FUCK YOU! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a sex worker to have unprotected sex with anyone, especially multiple people? STDS are a thing and can be a leading cause to cancer or death. We don't know where your dick has been and its not like you show up to a session with your STD test in hand. But alas this was our reality. It goes to show how little most people care about the well beings of sex workers.
To the Hobbyists who respected our boundaries and restrictions. Who would also shower and brush their teeth before seeing us - You were the True Regulars we loved to have. Please don't change.
When girls would give into relaxing their restrictions, then Jons would start to demand it from other girls and the risks of passing around a sexual disease are much higher. "Well So n so gave me a bbbj and cim so why can't you?" or "Some of the other girls dfk and bbs, why can't you be more GFE like them."
This kind of manipulation from the Jons and the pimps (Jason & Lisa) caused so much drama and distrust amongst the PK girls. Fingers were always pointed at Jenny even when she hadn't done anything wrong.
What Does Consent mean to you?
In the world of Sex Work consent and discreteness is everything. Once either is broken there is no going back.
To me, true consent is rooted in mutual respect and clear boundaries. Consent isn't just the absence of a 'No', it's an active willing 'Yes'. It's an unpressured agreement to participate in an activity. It must be freely given, everyone involved must be fully capable of understanding what is happening. Meaning everyone involved completely agrees without fear or coercion. There is no valid consent if a person is incapacitated, asleep or manipulated.
You can give consent but you can also take it back at anytime, this needs to be remembered.
You asked for it....
It was a cold and slow fall night for me at PK, Lisa was running the phones that night and Damien was still driving girls to outcalls at the time. I was about to go home until Lisa called me about seeing a regular outcall client for three + hours. He originally wanted Paige or Jenny but neither were in that night so Lisa convinced him to see me. That's $720 + for that outcall. How could I turn that down? However, there was a catch. He had specific instructions before and during the session. He wanted me to be extra clean because he's a germaphobe and completely shaved. He also had a specific way of being touched, like tracing your fingers all over his body ever so softly until he felt ready to fuck and if you messed up you had to start over. Challenge accepted. One I come to regret later.
Right before Damien arrived to take me to the outcall, I slipped on my LBD (little black dress) and my heels to get ready to go. Then Lisa messaged me with a reminder to make sure I don't upset this client and that he has the best time because he was known to make bad reviews about girls on Terb. Taking note of what Lisa said, I grab my things and head down to Damien's car.
Upon arriving to the clients building, I text Lisa to let her know that I'm there and she gives me his buzzer and apt number then tells me to text her when I'm inside and he's paid. Once I got into the apartment, I was greeted by this big buff bald guy who looked like he was on steroids. As he takes a sip of his red wine he tells me to come in and get comfortable while he does a line from the mountain of cocaine on the counter and grabs my gift (code for money). I call him Car dealership guy cause he liked to brag about owning one and having lots of money.
Once Car dealership guy gave me my "gift", he took me to his room that had huge windows looking out of the city and dimmed LED lighting with a king sized bed. Before we began, he asked me if I do anal and bareback which I responded with a very clear no and he agreed. I was very clear on my boundaries and use of condoms. What started out with consent, ended in violation.
We both took our clothes off and he jumped onto the bed and laid on his back. After showing me how he likes to be touched before fucking, I straddled him and began tracing his body softly with my finger tips. He almost seemed relaxed, like a dream state with a hard on. After a while of doing that, he was ready to fuck, so I put the condom on and started grinding on his cock. Next minute I know it, he wants to change positions so he doesn't cum too fast. He asks me to lay on my stomach so he can trace my back and fuck me doggystyle.
Everything was going fine until he slipped out and almost stuck it in my ass. I screamed, "WRONG HOLE!" He chuckled, "sorry," and asked to take a break for a moment so he could run to the kitchen to do a line of cock and wash it back with his wine. When he came back into the room, he was definitely intoxicated and when I went to roll over onto my back to be in the missionary position, he aggressively flipped me back over onto my stomach. He pinned me down by placing his hand in the middle of my back, ripped off the condom without me realizing it and started fucking me hard. So hard I had to ask him a few times to slow down or lighten up because it hurt. He didn't listen. He slipped out again, but this time he shoved his cock into my ass. I screamed, "WRONG HOLE!! PLEASE STOP!!" He pinned me down harder and whispered, "Its okay, I'll be gentle I promise. It will feel good I promise." After asking him to stop multiple times and he didn't, I realized he wasn't going to stop. It felt like if he would have pressed any harder onto my spine that it would break. It felt like someone was thrusting a sledge hammer up my ass. I went limp, numb even. I don't know why I couldn't fight back. I had never felt so powerless until that moment. I rolled my head over to stare outside the window until it was over by him cumming onto my back.
I was traumatized by what had just happened and blood running down my leg as if I was on my period. I didn't say much afterward. Once car dealership guy finished, he tossed me a towel to clean myself up and went to the bathroom off his bedroom to rinse off. I immediately got dressed quickly and ran for the kitchen to put my shoes on then all of a sudden car dealership guy comes up behind me with a towel wrapped around his waist holding money in his hand. As I'm racing to get my shoes on he hands me another $200 tip and paid me a second time for the three hours. Which I was confused as to why but wasn't going to question it and just wanted the hell out of there. With not even saying thank you, I took the money with a soulless stare and then ran off like a bat out of hell.
Running out of the building towards Damien's car, I stopped for a moment and looked back at the building. I could feel this sense of darkness following behind me. Like a part of me was left behind in that apartment. A part of me I will never get back. I just wanted out of my own skin. Violated. Disgusting. How could he? How fucking dare he? Was all I could think about afterwards. And it's not like I could go to the cops... Its my word (a sexworker) against his (a powerful man with money).
Not wanting to talk about what happened, I gave Damien his $80 cut and begged him to take me home without any questions. And so he did...
Tag: family
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You were thunder in red bottom high heels
long black hair like midnight silk
a heart stitched with gold and grit
spilling over with love
even when your body achedLatina spice with designer dreams
you made the world your runway
a mother, a muse
with two bright sons and a gentle man
who held your hand through the stormWe met where the shadows dance
and stories stay locked in whispersYou took me under your wing
like you’d been born to fly
and teach others how to soar tooyou were the light
guiding me through the dark
No one will ever knowwhat was hidden underneath it all
but I carry it like a secret flame
a force to be reckoned with
To know you was to ache
to crave more of youlike getting a taste of a forbidden fruit
to be forever marked
by the depth of your spirit.Even sick, you burned brighter
than most do in their healthiest hour.And today on this special day
we celebrate the miracle of your existence
the legacy of your love
the fire you left behind
that still warms our broken hearts.Happy birthday, Linda
You were one of a kind
And I’ll never stop loving you
for all the lives you lived -
As the summer before college was coming to an end I was becoming anxious about moving out on my own. Not because I was afraid of being alone in a big city; I was worried about how I was going to pay for my bills. Where would I get a job? Would my employer be flexible with my school schedule? How am I going to work and still go to school for eight in the morning until at least seven or eight at night? Do I really want to work at Mcdonald’s again? My parents would also ask me the same questions everyday and try to convince me to go to community college. “It would be cheaper and you can live at home,” They would say. But over my dead body, I was going to stay in my hometown and go to Community College, so I started to stress out.
With moving day looming around the corner, I had saved just enough money to make the move to Ottawa, to pay the deposit plus first and last month’s rent. I had just enough money left over to buy a week’s worth of groceries. That was still not enough but it was a start.
Sitting out back with my family behind my parents’ apartment building, a woman in a red Massarotti drives in the back to park. She had long dark hair, styled like Betty Page’s, with big brown eyes and she smelled like Chanel #5. As she got out of her car to walk over to us in her Louboutin heels and black little dress, my dad shouts, “What is a woman like you driving a car like that in the ghetto?” She giggled as she approached us. “I’m Lucy, I just moved into the building. As for the car, my Sugar Daddy bought it for me,” she said. “SUGAR DADDY? What the hell is a Sugar Daddy?” My dad yelled while laughing.
Sugar Daddy; A rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual services.
Lucy pulled out a chair and sat at the table with us before answering my dad’s question. “Anyone have a beer?” Lucy asked. Immediately my dad, uncle and cousin all handed her a beer.
As Lucy took a swig of her beer, she said, “I’m an Escort and my Sugar Daddy takes care of me.” Everyone at the table just stared at Lucy in disbelief. My dad on the other hand shouts, “WELL HOLY SHIT, GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!”
Escort; An escort gives companionship and time to the client. There may or may not be any sex involved.
Lucy ended up sitting with us for a couple of hours swapping stories and shooting the shit. Later when I went inside to grab everyone more beer, Lucy came into the building behind me. Turns out, she was living across the hall from me. Too nervous to ask her anything, I quietly went back outside with the beer.
Later that night when I was in my room, I watched a movie that was airing on cable TV called “Walking the Halls.” It’s a movie about a girl who graduated high school, wanting to go to an Ivy league University, however her parents couldn’t afford it. Similar to what I was going through. However, the girl decided to become an Escort to pay for school. Falling asleep right after the movie, I had forgotten all about it.
With only a week left until I moved, my parents were really on my case about how I was going to pay for rent and food while at school. One morning I was getting ready to head to my last day of work at Mcdonald’s. My parents and I were fighting and yelling cause I had no idea what I was going to do, I just knew I didn’t want to be in Kingston anymore. As I slammed the door behind me while still yelling at my parents, there stood Lucy in front of her door across the hall. “Can I give you a ride to work,” she asked. “Sure, that would be great, sorry if you heard us yelling,” I responded. Lucy didn’t seem phased by it as she walked in front of me to her car. I had never been in a sports car before until that moment.
During the ride to my work, Lucy had mentioned that she had overheard the fight with my parents and that I’m going to be financially strapped when I move. She had also mentioned that I too could get into her profession to pay my way through college. THAT’S IT! It was like a light bulb went off in my head. It was kind of like a sign. So the next time my parents asked what I was going to do, I told them not to worry and that I had it covered. I told them, a friend from Military Band Camp lived in Ottawa and could help me get a job there. This was the moment where I made my first lie about the double life I was about to lead. At least it got them off my back for the moment.
Innocence 